picture by Franch, W.L.
Identification:
The painted turtle is normally spotted on or near water. His smooth upper shell or carapace is a dark muddy color; almost a greenish, brownish black. His lower shell can range from yellow to orange, encompassing shades in between. He can be about twelve inches long from nose to tail, but tends to be seen in a range of smaller sizes. He can not pull his head and limbs entirely into the shell as box turtles do. Painted turtles have paint like streaks of yellow, orange, and red on their necks and chins, from which they derive their common name.
As an undergraduate I had the good fortune to receive a liberal arts education. Less than three centuries ago this would have been a monumental scholastic undertaking, requiring at the outset an ability "extempore to read, construe, and parse Tully, Virgil, and the Greek Testament; and to write true Latin in prose and to understand the rules of prosody and common arithmetic, and bring sufficient testimony of [my] blameless and inoffensive life."* Fortunately, by the time I arrived on the scene, standards of higher education had loosened considerably. Academia found no trouble accommodating a middle-of-the-road intellect such as myself at one of her average-to-decent centers of learning where diplomas are awarded freely with little regard to one's ability to construe and parse Tully.
While Tully and the Greek Testament were sorely neglected in my assigned course of studies, one shouldn't presume that a more modern notion of the "liberal arts" did not factor into the character of my intellectual development. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth. While students at other institutions frittered away the hours amassing lucrative skills in fields such as technology, engineering, and business; I developed penetrating insights into human nature through classes sporting titles like "deconstructing community." It was during this time that I was introduced to the argument that descriptive language is an inherently violent social enterprise due to its limiting nature. Although malicious stereotypes illustrate this most effectively, one can also suffer heinous violations at the hands of those who unthinkingly hurl compliments and well-wishing. As is frequently the case, "the media" is often scapegoated as an egregious offender in this subtly brutal practice. For evidence of this, we need look no further than the painted turtle.
Impossible Expectations; Cruel Disappointments
From ancient times western culture has painted the turtle into a corner. Though the larger reptile family has been cast as villainous knaves, humanity has said to the turtle, "nothing against you friend, you are alright by us." Snakes burst into human history by beguiling us into giving up immortality and boundless pleasure. The turtle (or more accurately tortoise) on the other hand, first made his mark by besting an insufferably cocky rabbit with dogged persistence. Few people are likely to respond well to being called "lizard like." On the other hand if we were to say, "oh don't mind Rita, she's just a turtle" it might prove a bit of a head-scratcher, but certainly no basis for outrage on Rita's part.
Over the millenia, humanity's approval of the turtle only grew. Yet this reached dizzying heights of excess with my generation. While our parents and grandparents may have fondly considered turtles to be potential childhood companions, we began to see them as much more. We learned from the mainstream media that turtles could; under the right conditions, master the english language. We were lead to believe they were surprisingly agile. Not only this, but they had a sense of humor analogous to that of the average American 6-10 year old. They developed an appreciation for pizza. Totally out of keeping with their previously observed preferences, they asked that small fish not be included with their pizza. They practiced ninjitsu. They fought crime.
If one approaches the painted turtle expecting all this, disappointment is inevitable. Even after careful instruction, the most accomplished of turtles will fail to demonstrate the basic rudiments of ninjitsu. If you rely on them for protection from criminal master minds in sharply edged armor and their disembodied brain sidekicks, you may be placing yourself at risk.
The Painted Turtle; Still Worthwhile (& how to Observe)
Relinquishing the fantasies of youth is difficult, yet ultimately rewarding. Once childish dreams are put aside, one can appreciate the painted turtle as he is. Though his real life existence may seem superficially less glamorous, it is actually quite fascinating.
The painted turtle is a water turtle; as such water is where you are most likely to find him. If you hope to spot him, quietly approach a pond or gently flowing stream anytime from late spring to fall. First look for fallen trees, stumps, or rocks that extend above the surface of the water. Often times you may see him resting atop these basking in the sun. If you approach too closely or too quickly, he is likely to become alarmed and scuttle off into the water.
If you don't immediately spot a turtle there is no need to fret. Place yourself by the bank, preferably near the aforementioned stump or log, and sit still. Try not to think about seeing a turtle, as this may lead to impatience. Instead, take in the whole scene, noticing each plant, insect, cloud, bird, etc. Doing this, the waiting experience itself will become pleasant and intrinsically rewarding. Soon, you may very well see a painted turtle arrive on the scene. If he is not ready to climb out of the water, you may see him poking his snout just above water, or staying near the surface in order to bask.
The turtle sunbathes or basks because he is cold blooded. He needs an external heat source to keep his body temperature sufficiently high enough to move around, digest food, and go about his other turtle business. He gets this from absorbing the suns rays. Do not fear for his health, he will not get skin cancer. Nor will he become overly wrinkled and look elderly while still in midlife.
When the turtle is sufficiently warmed up, he turns to other pursuits, including hunting his food and laying eggs. He eats both plants and animals, enjoying fish, crayfish, water dwelling insects, tadpoles, and more. Of course, he also must be careful to avoid being eaten himself. Although his hard shell provides some degree of protection, determined predators can find away around this obstacle. Hawks, herons, raccoons, and others all will prey the painted turtle. Once the turtle has mated, the female will dig a hole, and lay her eggs inside. She will then cover the hole with her hind legs, and leave the young turtles to their fate. Despite this, child protective services has no need to intervene in the turtle family. The young will hatch and make their way without the careful guidance of a responsible adult.
. When the weather becomes to cool for the turtle, he will do something similar to hibernating. He will burrow down into the mud, sometimes deeper than two feet. Then, he stays down there until milder days return. His behavior is a little different from mammals, who will sleep throughout their hibernation. With the turtle it is more like just being very still.
Overall, the painted turtle is an unassuming patron of our local waterways. Though popular culture has inflated his reputation, his ego has suffered no such effect. He continues to add a bit of color to our ecosystem, and remains a staple of our summer waterscape.
painted turtles basking on a log
Further Study
* Franlin B. Dexter, "Regulations at Yale College," Biographical Stetches of the Graduates of Yale College with Annals of the College History, New York, 1896, Vol. II, pp. 2-18.
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