image from wikipedia
Identification: This one is pretty straight forward. It's shiny black with a bright red hourglass on the body. Pretty hard to mistake. The adults are about 1.5 inches across. Of course, the juveniles and males look a little different. They are smaller, sometimes brownish, sometimes a little speckled. I wouldn't really worry about that though. I'm pretty sure people are interested in actual black widows, not little black bachelor spiders, or brownish maid spiders.
If you want to sound interesting while discussing the natural world, you can get a lot of mileage out of the black widow spider. It's pretty, it's creepy, and it's poisonous. There's something about being poisonous that makes an animal so much more intriguing. The average man on the street will readily attest to knowledge of the king cobra, but is unlikely to provide much insight into say, habits of the eastern milk snake. In any case, the black widow has done a good job getting it's name out there. It might not be a rattlesnake or great white shark, but it's close.
An Arachnid for the Contrarian's Contrarian
To intelligently discuss this spider, one needs do little more than learn to dismiss the common wisdom. Let's talk about how one should approach two of the most well known facts.
If you want to sound interesting while discussing the natural world, you can get a lot of mileage out of the black widow spider. It's pretty, it's creepy, and it's poisonous. There's something about being poisonous that makes an animal so much more intriguing. The average man on the street will readily attest to knowledge of the king cobra, but is unlikely to provide much insight into say, habits of the eastern milk snake. In any case, the black widow has done a good job getting it's name out there. It might not be a rattlesnake or great white shark, but it's close.
An Arachnid for the Contrarian's Contrarian
To intelligently discuss this spider, one needs do little more than learn to dismiss the common wisdom. Let's talk about how one should approach two of the most well known facts.
Fact # 1: The black widow is poisonous.
Everyone knows this, but this alone doesn't tell you much. The thing to know is exactly how poisonous the black widow is, and what its poison will do to you. The black widow is extraordinarily poisonous. Jab someone with a syringe full of black widow poison and it would be curtains for him. However, the amount a widow spider will inject with its bite is minuscule. It's generally not enough to send anyone shuffling off his mortal coil. So what you want to say is something like this, "Yes they are rather poisonous, but the odds of death from the hint of venom in a widow bite are long indeed."
Next you need to know what the poison can do. It reads like a typical list of "possible side effects" from prescription medication. The effects include the usual; headaches, nausea, dizziness, vomiting, and abdominal pains similar to those in childbirth. Obviously, it's the last one I'm interested in. To be fair, I've only heard anecdotally that these pains resemble childbirth, but that's enough for me. It resembles childbirth and lasts for 2-3 days. That means, should you be a gentleman bitten by a black widow spider, you can someday look lovingly in your spouse's eyes as she delivers your child, and say, "Honey, I know just what you're going through...of course, for me it lasted three whole days, but I know that even these few hours have been tough." Theoretically, any man who so desires might improve his ability to empathize with the mother of his children simply by going to out to the wood pile and harassing his local Latrodectus specimen.
In all seriousness though, don't do this. It's a terrible idea. Although it's unlikely, you might die, and even if you survive your wife probably won't appreciate the gesture. Most likely she'd hate it. Plus, as a father who stood by and supported his spouse through the beautiful yet somewhat horrific experience of natural (drug free) childbirth, I'm pretty sure that getting bitten by a widow spider would be way easier, despite any literature to the contrary.
Finally it's important to note that the black widow spider doesn't really want to bite you anyway. She's a live-and-let-live type who would rather spin her web, eat insects, and reproduce than take time out of her busy schedule to give you a good chomping.
Fact # 2: The black widow spider kills and eats her gentleman callers after mating, hence the name.
Never hesitate to point out that this 'fact' is not entirely true. The female widow spider does not normally slay her unsuspecting suitors after a tryst, and has been unfairly maligned. Moreover, this behavior is rarely observed in the wild, where it has been limited to only one strain of widow spider (there are several). Here you have the perfect formula: a generally inoffensive creature, captured by humans and culturally debased by a cruel artificial environment to the point of extreme depravity. Knowing this enables you to almost drip with moral superiority when discussing the widow spider. Speak as if you would never stoop so low as to confine an arachnid while saying something to the effect of, "in their natural habitat, cannibalism between mates is virtually unknown." If you really want to push it, you might then mention that after a typical rendezvous, the male will sometimes proceed to mate with other females. Thus, not only is this spider non-violent in a natural state, it also blithely embraces a post-modern, post-conventional moral approach to the family. You could say all this, but I'd recommend carefully gauging the tolerance of your audience beforehand.
Everyone knows this, but this alone doesn't tell you much. The thing to know is exactly how poisonous the black widow is, and what its poison will do to you. The black widow is extraordinarily poisonous. Jab someone with a syringe full of black widow poison and it would be curtains for him. However, the amount a widow spider will inject with its bite is minuscule. It's generally not enough to send anyone shuffling off his mortal coil. So what you want to say is something like this, "Yes they are rather poisonous, but the odds of death from the hint of venom in a widow bite are long indeed."
Next you need to know what the poison can do. It reads like a typical list of "possible side effects" from prescription medication. The effects include the usual; headaches, nausea, dizziness, vomiting, and abdominal pains similar to those in childbirth. Obviously, it's the last one I'm interested in. To be fair, I've only heard anecdotally that these pains resemble childbirth, but that's enough for me. It resembles childbirth and lasts for 2-3 days. That means, should you be a gentleman bitten by a black widow spider, you can someday look lovingly in your spouse's eyes as she delivers your child, and say, "Honey, I know just what you're going through...of course, for me it lasted three whole days, but I know that even these few hours have been tough." Theoretically, any man who so desires might improve his ability to empathize with the mother of his children simply by going to out to the wood pile and harassing his local Latrodectus specimen.
In all seriousness though, don't do this. It's a terrible idea. Although it's unlikely, you might die, and even if you survive your wife probably won't appreciate the gesture. Most likely she'd hate it. Plus, as a father who stood by and supported his spouse through the beautiful yet somewhat horrific experience of natural (drug free) childbirth, I'm pretty sure that getting bitten by a widow spider would be way easier, despite any literature to the contrary.
Finally it's important to note that the black widow spider doesn't really want to bite you anyway. She's a live-and-let-live type who would rather spin her web, eat insects, and reproduce than take time out of her busy schedule to give you a good chomping.
Fact # 2: The black widow spider kills and eats her gentleman callers after mating, hence the name.
Never hesitate to point out that this 'fact' is not entirely true. The female widow spider does not normally slay her unsuspecting suitors after a tryst, and has been unfairly maligned. Moreover, this behavior is rarely observed in the wild, where it has been limited to only one strain of widow spider (there are several). Here you have the perfect formula: a generally inoffensive creature, captured by humans and culturally debased by a cruel artificial environment to the point of extreme depravity. Knowing this enables you to almost drip with moral superiority when discussing the widow spider. Speak as if you would never stoop so low as to confine an arachnid while saying something to the effect of, "in their natural habitat, cannibalism between mates is virtually unknown." If you really want to push it, you might then mention that after a typical rendezvous, the male will sometimes proceed to mate with other females. Thus, not only is this spider non-violent in a natural state, it also blithely embraces a post-modern, post-conventional moral approach to the family. You could say all this, but I'd recommend carefully gauging the tolerance of your audience beforehand.
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